JUST ANOTHER "THE END"

Oh you know, I bet you see this coming too. OKAY I'll start. This is just another bye bye 2011 post. Typical. I bet you read a lot of post about 2011 and 2012. I hope mine is a bit different and because its the last day!! Aren't you excited?!
2012 is tomorrow. Another year to prove to yourself that anything is achievable if you just believe in yourself. I feel inspired.


I felt that every year is like having a new relationship. Not with guys but with YEARS and frankly 2011 is a really bad boyfriend. Haha, there's just so many ups and downs.. But I manage to pull it off with a touch of smile *SMILE* I did it gracefully. Also, just wow. Do time past so fast. Looking at my calender again, yeap. N in just 5 more hours till its a new chapter for everyone again.


As if it was just yesterday I felt that I left school for good. I miss school. Graduation was the best day. Everybody was happy smiling and excited. Full of pictures to build great memories. Don't you miss school? Its been a year for me!  I believe that when your in school, it is the only life where you are allowed to make mistakes. Because you learned fast from it and you just thought how stupid you were before and you think to yourself, I was just a little kid back then. I'm left to laugh at myself for being so stupid at times.
I am very quirky back in school and I did a lot of silly things. NO REGRETS. Just lots of FUN.


I guess this year is pretty much a whole 360 turn for me. I expected a great world ahead for myself. But everything seems to be false for me and I let my guard down. But come to think of it, of all the things I've been through. I wouldn't blame my mistakes this year and the tough times I've had. The problems I received and a lot of other typical drama. Though they were a lot of bumpy roller coaster rides for me. As some of you may know, I suffered 6 months of depression and it was NOT cool. Back then was nothing but a big bucket of crap in my face.  - To Summarize my explanation. I wasn't on track with myself and I'm always so depress. I sound like a completely boring and lifeless person but I grew up from it.


Because I learn to deal with tough things and accept what I was given. I was selfish at times in my situation but it made me stronger for myself inside and out AND I have a lot of advice's from people. LIKE major advice's. People from all ages and sharing each other problems and experience. Pretty cool huh? No, its weird actually. But the good thing is I am now back to being who I used to be,
 I thanked god for putting me on the right track again but just a bit more responsible and realistic now.
I am aware and careful but at the same time little mistake comes along the way yet I can always forget and move on from it.


Right now, at this present moment. I'm really prepared for 2012. Like, I'm so excited. I could not wait for the next day to come. I know that things will change. A lot of things will change.
 I'm still afraid of the future but I believe that every day is a new day.
 I build this whole new me and I can't wait for things to change more. Good things to be better. Dreams that comes true. To start off my amazing plan, I basically would just prepare NEW YEAR resolutions. Because I'm a tad bit of an organizer for myself and I really followed my resolutions. LIKE REALLY I DO!
(OKAY, 75% of it?)

One of them is of course, to not stop inspiring people. I thanked all of those who got inspired by me and I'm happy that many people smiled after that. I'm glad that my resolution came out good and I'd like to show good examples to kids more. I love kids and I believe inspiration starts from there. I want to be more happy and caring towards myself and others, so that we could build a good atmosphere and place for each other. I work in a good place where everyone is friendly (sometimes) and I'm just starting to fell in love with what I do. Though, I still have yet to complete my task as I would want to go to Fashion School someday.
 I could just forget about my I.E but that's my back up plan.
But mostly, to find something new for myself.

Other than that, maybe giving chances and getting chances. Because chances may lead us to something good. See like Namewee, for example. People gave him a chance to start over what he did (after insulting other races) but he apologize already and he is really sorry for what he did. AND he did a super great movie. Isn't that great? To get chances, we have to work for it. I hope to get great chances.

Well, that's about me. I still have more but I don't wanna write a lot of my resolutions here. Other than that, I'm pretty close to my parents again. Mom and dad though I'm still their average pain in the ass daughter at times. I can't help it, its just normal to be one sometimes. But I would never break their hearts. I love them and I wanna make them proud. I don't wanna be a daughter where I regret not spending time with them. YES I do a have life on my own, but sharing my life with them would mean the world to them. After what my mother have been through, I would do whatever it takes to fix everything again.
She's been hurt by so many people and all she need is happiness. 

She deserves happiness, and as for dad. THINGS are okay again.

A lot of people ask me would I fall in love next year. WELL YEA I don't want to be single for the rest of my life but I don't want to rush in this kind of things at the same time. Love is beautiful yet scary.
The guys that I like tend to not like me back. BUMMER much.
 Someday there will be someone I don't know when but as for now. Single it is. BUT to know what kind of guy do I want. Well I've read and watch a lot of love stories, I guess I want a guy who makes other girls jealous for loving me. If he really loves me that is. Which I find that completely impossible. Its like wishing for drinking the best water from the mountains everyday.

So I shall end my post here, to those who are reading and my loyal regular readers. Thank you so much. 

I would update this blog often. To make someones day complete. I don't like wishing people HAPPY NEW YEAR. Because we cant guarantee happiness everyday. So here is from me.

SURVIVE A NEW YEAR PEOPLE!

JaszyRay~

D&D

I was having breakfast with dad and he was reading the Morning Newspaper. As usual, he always checked the back page first. Can't help but to be attracted to the paper as well, there was this article about a father chained his two children in the bathroom leaving them with no food and straightly off to work. Further story, the reason why he chained them was because of their disobedient behavior and it made him angry.
Like, REALLY ANGRY.


The newspaper also said that he had troubles because of his wife who left him. Awww, at first I was really mad for what he did to his children. How can someone chain their kids? I understand "the cane method" but that's really a red flag for bad parenting but after further reading, I guess its pretty understandable. Though, its still not right to throw your anger on kids. Plus, they were just so young. 2 and 6 years old children. I don't blame him that much because when your emotionally disturbed.
You tend to do things that are not right.

I'm sure he didn't mean to do it, he felt bad about it. He just needs a chance to prove to his kids how sorry he is for doing that. I do believe he deserves a chance.
 A father relationship towards his kids.
I find that gold. Mainly because I guess I never had a good relationship with my dad.

I don't normally talked about him much in anywhere, we had a rough patch towards each other for almost 4 years. I never liked him, he never liked me. That's basically it. We ignored each other and we picked fights as well. I understand what I did back then that's why this year is different. I started to be close to him again. The past is the past and I forgive him for what he did.

Talking about him now, I'm happy about it. I am proud that I have dad. Though he isn't that perfect and a hot head but I am bless that Were getting back to being as close as we were before. I could not ask for anything else. I don't want us to be strangers or still  keeping that grudge feeling. I would never give up to still love him. Though sometimes, it is healthy to argue with him, like you know, teen stuff. He still does that DO's and DONT's stuff. Who's dad doesn't?

One of my New Year Resolutions, to have a healthy and happy relationship with my dad again.
His not getting any younger and nobody is perfect but if he can't change, I should change.

UPDATES ABOUT MY AWKWARD LIFE: Life is starting to be great again.
I just got home from the best vacation ever. Well, ONE of the best vacations ever and I just love hotels.
Especially breakfast. Damn you pastries. I'm fat now. Literally FAT. But who cares, I'm happy.


Happy Girls are the Prettiest Girls~


JaszyRay.

LETTERS TO HEAVEN

I know that things happen for a reason and just like the words of Macbeth, What's done is done.
Its funny how time passes so fast that you thought everything will be okay and that 2011 is about to end, But my journey to the end pretty much crushed when an unfortunate event happen. I am still upset and down about it. I couldn't believe what happen recently, I could not accept the fact, to know that

I lost a friend, A very good friend AND he was so amazing that he puts a smile on people's faces. 

Many of us who know him cared for him so much, he was special and he still is.

When I first knew him, he had this smile and you could just feel something good about it. I felt that his smile reflects his personality and it did. He had a great personality. A personality that is so unique and he is just a keeper.That smile of his brought me to be his friend. He was nice, he was kind AND I could not forget how funny he was. I have always appreciate having new friends. He was my new friend.
I loved all his jokes. How could someone so amazing, be gone so fast.


20th December 2011, a tragic day it was.
He couldn't learn from his mistakes.
He had no chance to say sorry. He couldn't fix things. Most of all, he couldn't even say goodbye.

My lovely friend who is now with god,

I'm sorry that I couldn't attend your funeral, to make it up to you I'll send you my prayers.
I hope your okay up there. Your an angel now. Take good care of yourself.
 As for me and all your other good friends out there, we will never forget about you.
I know that I would never forget about you. You truly are one in a million.


 R.I.P ShineShawne-Sy
1993-2011


JaszyRay

UNTITLED - NO IDEA

Looks like I got my Christmas present early! 10 more days to Christmas!

SO! I have this interesting yet challenging bet that my mom and I plan, and its still going on. I have to NOT drink Pepsi for A MONTH and if I can do that for a month my mom will quit smoking. Isn't that cool?! I find it hard to believe because my mom is really a heavy smoker but I'd like to prove her wrong that I can live without Pepsi for a month. Actually, its tough. I mean, I can drink up to 6 cans a day. 6 CANS! Okay okay I know its unhealthy and I'm about to destroy my kidneys but I guess I need this bet yea know? To cut down on my Pepsi addict. Hah, and I start drinking water, like often. Thanks to a friend *winks*. It's cool. My relationship with my mom is getting better each day.


Its good you know, and I'm happy.  I hope to know a lot of girls who keeps good relationships with their mom. I went to this society about Mother Daughter Relationship kind of thing and its really nice. I like the atmosphere. The talks are really inspiring too. I love all this things. It makes little differences and little differences will be huge differences in the end.


So what have I been doing for the past months. BUSY. With my job and assignments. But no matter at least I'm finding time now to update this blog. I have a lot to write now! I think...


Wow, could you believe it. 2011 is coming to an end. I have learned so much this year. Like, Driving without putting on the signal pisses people off.

I'll update more soon :)


JaszyRay