SO I SPEAK

Oh my cheezels its been a month since I updated my blog. WAS time really that fast on me?! The last time I updated was when I blogged about JEANS!
I love fashion. I love, Jeans. I hope you readers love that blog post.
 Shows how much I'm a passion for fashion.


Its been a month and there's not much post (ZERO post) for this month, October.
Why was I missing in action. ( M.I.A. )

FIRST and MAIN reason. I was busy, really I was and also I didn't have time to find something interesting to write about in my blog. But mostly I was busy, with life and being on an emotional ride. I have some problems and I was figuring things out here and there. It hasn't been a good month for me but I'm still capable with things. I'm still feeling down and maybe I should blog about something tonight.


AND then there was this Anonymous Formspring who suggested me to write about my life.


One thing about my life, I'm a very happy person, well I wish and maybe not at this time and pretty much I've been on tough and bumpy roads. I'm facing a lot of sadness that I feel unfair, I just feel like I've been trying to make people happy all my life where I just end up hurting myself and hide that away because I want to be happy too and it has always been unfair with life and all I wanted was to witness a miracle this year and so far there's no miracles in my life.

Before I move on, I just want you to know that I don't expect sympathy when you readers reading this, I just want this post to be honest, I guess I should write about my life a little a bit more in this blog since its all about my thoughts, I never wrote about my life before in here.


Firstly, yes I am a happy kid, I'd like to call myself a kid because 18 is a scary number and I hate turning 18. I turned 18 on 3.10.2011, that was by far the worst birthday ever and as much as I love this month, I hate it now. I hate how things are and I can't wait for October to end.


I have always been appreciative and thanking god for giving me another day to be happy again. Sometimes it doesn't work. I'm not being dramatic and I know that life has ups and downs but I just want to know why.


Maybe its because of the people around me, I guess I mix with the wrong people sometimes and sometimes I don't know if maybe I just want to fit in at the same time. But basically about my social life, I love my friends, I have more guy friends than girl friends but things somehow changed us and we have our own life to lead. Its no more 7a.m waking up in the morning gotta be fresh gotta go downstairs - (Okay enough with Rebecca black) I miss school. That was when life is just a beautiful playground and its alright to do a mistakes because we always agree with "LEARNING from OUR mistakes".

Well, its not too late to turn over a new leaf. 2011 hasn't end yet and I still can prove something for myself. All I want to do is chase for one thing. Which is happiness. Because that is what is important. I want to change, because I've been hurt so much this year and I want to change for the better of myself. Everybody say next year is going to be a horrible year, but I can assure that it wont be for me.


Alright. no more emo talks.


I auditioned for TWISTIES SUPERSTARZ 2011. It was a great experience though I wasn't shortlisted but that doesn't stop me from singing. The judges were, alright I guess. I didn't know they can put Jin Hitz FM a judge. Oh well, and I came across many people telling me I look like Selena Gomez. Weird but I guess I do look like her a little, but not through personality. They were a lot of talented people. Met a few people I know and their really nice and cool. Its good to see them. Most of the time I was alone. Maybe I needed to be alone today.

Till next time.

jASMIN rAYHAN