IMAGINE THIS

OH, HEY. This is my blog. I've been neglecting it for 2 months now. This is seriously an utterly bad behavior. I am sorry for being very silent and probably its because I have nothing interesting to write lately, - yea, for 2 months and not that I was busy but maybe I was just finding some inspiration because I was feeling very absent. - yea again, for 2 months.


My book of life seems a bit messy this few months and again I could not complain because life is not a bed of roses, that is what mother always have to say and yes I do agree. I don't have a clear head to actually open up my blog and start writing. I'm not that active and a joyful person anymore, I don't know why and I seem to see the world in a whole new different perspectives now. Not that its bad or anything and at the same time I don't feel wiser either. PLUS Its not really nice to actually sit and write with a lot of messed up things in your mind. Trust me, I've tried. I kept putting all my blog posts in drafts.


Well I am here now, typing. Getting back to my blogging mood again. Before I change my mind and just waste my time 9gagging. - That's what we kids do these days!! Some parents like example, my parents, they should be lucky that I'm addicted to the internet instead of being addicted to drugs and all those other horrible things. So what is up with me. Being utterly awkward as usual.

 

I start to not take my life TOO seriously nowadays, I'm not slacking and NO I'm not living YOUNG, WILD AND FREE. - I hate that song by the way.

I just couldn't really bother much with what expectations have to deliver to me that I could not pursuit. The things I do is never good enough but who cares, if I find myself okay with it, so be it. Sometimes, I go to work with my hair looking like Pat Benatar and people thought I just woke up from bed and yea, whatever comments they have. Basically I have been more of an "eye" lately. I have been looking and having different points of view.


I've been attached. Really attached, NOT with a boy but maybe someday I will be very fond with a boy (well the last boy I was very fond with, I guess you could say there's no chemistry between us. Its so sad but if its meant to be, its meant to be, but I actually like this guy a lot). Anyways, I've been attached with kids actually. Their my source to hope and inspiration and not to mention they are very fun to be with. I just see them playing games and I talk to them, mostly I just want to know all about them. I wanna know what's inside their heads, what are they thinking, what do they want. What what what.


Its funny, I felt really funny because the things they do, were not the things I used to do before. The game, ANGRY BIRDS. That game is like DRUGS to them and to my honesty I don't like that game. Also, the way they fashion themselves and the kind of music they listen too. Majority, people say kids are no longer KIDS. They don't act like one and why is it that were blaming this kids for NOT being kids? I often ask this people why do they complain. Most of them are actually older people. People who are no longer taking charge of the generation.


So I looked at this kids now, by my own perspective because I was told to do so by a few older/wiser people. I do agree with them in one thing, kids have so many things nowadays. All those gadgets and how they seem to be really different as well. They mature fast. But I find it very annoying when the older/wiser people complain about this kids to the fact that I think they just forgot who raised them.

AND a friend of mine, gave this statement :
So imagine this, handphones, smartphones or whatever. In the 90's we used to have this NOKIA (or any other NOKIA phone, the first ever phone you have basically!) and when were kids (I am referring to the 90's babies) we were so excited to have a phone. So its not a blackberry, or an Iphone but damn it we have a phone!! We get so excited and we start calling our friends and say "hey I got a phone! Lets do this thing called, SMS". But when I give a simple phone to a kid, they refuse to even touch it, I don't know why but I guess they wanted a better phone? 


-------------- That was one of the statements brought to example. As I think, its not that their being non appreciative. They were brought to think that way. Society got them thinking to have something better than another thing because its just better that way. Basically, We live in technology now and pretty soon maybe nobody is going to read a book anymore. That is sad because I find reading a wonderful a thing to do. Its the most beautiful hobby ever. EVERYTHING around us is technology. Accepting the fact the world is changing. THE WORLD IS ALWAYS CHANGING. But question is, must we change?


I come across this blog or maybe a project and its called MANAGING AND UNDERSTANDING GENERATION Y - Something like that, it didn't pull my attention because the title was dead boring but when I heard it is about our generation, meaning generation NOW, well I just want to know what they have to say about us.


I understand people in the 50's and 60's. They were born with awesome music, great people and mostly their generation seems to be tough but easier because life wasn't so bad as now. Society changed us to think differently and we have to be more educated. Life now is really tip top. But I do have to admit, life back then was great, hell of a great and they might not have what we have now but you know, they just know how to live their life even though there were more burdens before.

 

I don't understand why people, the older generations and maybe us as well complaining about this. So the answer to my question, The world is changing but must we change as well? YES WE DO. We all are changing but were not changing for the better. Do you realize? Do any of you realize? KIDS are thought differently now and what were doing is what they see and do in the end as well. The bad thing is, I see kids these days, they seem to not socialize. I guess with everything they have, they also forgot to be polite and they don't seem to respect the elderly as well. How do we make things better when in future were not going to be nice to each other, and we complain more?


I think kids are kids and we don't blame them for being demanding, well there must be a reason why their demanding, its because were giving them too much and sometimes its not because to make them feel complete but because were busy with ourselves, the world is changing and its getting tougher and sometimes, we forgot to be nice. AND that is not nice at all.


To be a great leader to the younger generations we must be great leaders to ourselves. We need to cherish moral values and to earn respect we have to prove to others that we deserve respect. If we don't do this, the younger generation would be thought the wrong way and everything is just going to be worst. LIFE is short but don't you think it will be better if all of us stop complaining about how kids are not being kids and start guiding them in the right way? SO BE IT when you see them having awesome gadgets or better things and maybe playing different games and whatever that are different between you and them. Generation X and Generation Y.


I say, guide them to be nice and polite and actually teach them to socialize more. I think that's just about enough and besides, they WILL grow up.


JaszyRay~

RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW

It's the 3rd day of January! I'm back to drinking Pepsi again. 31 days of not having Pepsi last year. I was so deprived but it thought me something, which is not taking too much sugar, so now I just drink Pepsi once in a while (2-3 cans in a week?? I had to have Pepsi every single day before). I drink a lot of water now too.
No more dry skin. I still have eczema though. My only imperfection.


Its been 3 years of having this blog though my archives starts on 2010. I was hacked on 2009 and all my posts were erased by those trolls. But that doesn't stopped me from blogging. KEEP CALM AND BLOG.


I'm still on my holiday mood. Though its back to work and assignments. Just 4 more months till I finish my I.E.  That is I think, so far so good. Back to where I was before. Slowly making my dreams come true. Only happier and more excited to look forward for another day. I just don't want to give up, you know?



Currently listening to Right Here, Right Now by Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron. OMG could you believe it that I was a HSM fan? I know, embarrassing but I grew up from it okay AND that's when I was 13! I ended my love and crazy fan-ish-self for HSM when I was 15. ALRIGHT, 16! Oh god, remembering those times when I was 13. I was just a manga freak back then and I was so shy I would just sit in the corner and read. I still do though, Not the manga freak anymore but I still read. I love reading. As years goes by, I changed.



Its a New Year, another year to make a change. There's nothing wrong with changing. The changes in life reflects who you are. The quote people change fast, well yea people do change. But I always know that it is in a good way, I don't see whats wrong with changing. Everybody tells me that I change too fast and most of the people who used to be a part in my life can't accept my changes, and as a best friend/girlfriend, how can you not accept people's changes for being a better person for themselves. I change because I want to know who I really am, what I'm really capable of and what is it that I'm missing. Its just that sometimes you feel that you can do almost anything but there are lots of ups and downs coming along the way. Get what I mean?



Okay, I do admit that I hurt a lot of people along the way, people who I loved so much and even a sincere sorry is not good enough. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I've had labels and people calling me names. Unpleasant names. But I accepted those names and come to think of it, none of you were there for me when I was in trouble so why do I have to accept the fact that you can't accept me for who I am. You just needed me when your in trouble and when you don't need me you forget about me till I'm in need of you? N blame me for being attention seeking. I guess your just not meant to be a part in my life.


But I'm not always right as well. I am wrong too. Karma got me back okay. I do make mistakes and I have always admit my mistakes. Learning from it takes time. Sometimes the mistakes that you do just have to see the people you love so much go. Sometimes the most devastating things that happens to you, will teach you the most. KARMA is a bitch but its just another wake up call to me, no matter how heavy KARMA gives you to suffer back and sometimes you cannot see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others and I still manage to say sorry. A sincere one. Here's a quote,

How can you be old and wise when your not young and crazy before? 

You know when you got hurt and you feel like its the end of the world, I get it. I've been there, I was hurt so much last year but that doesn't mean I quit trying. The good thing is I accepted my past and threw it away from my mind. Like a big bottle of messed up things and I threw it in the sea and I felt better. I'm emotional and unstable but that's just me. I'm still that deep person who sees the world from the crowds. Because people are people and we just to accept what comes along the way. So why do I have to wake up in the morning with regrets? Right?


Just give me a chance and I'll give you a chance back too. 2012 wont be bad if you wont make things bad. STOP ANALYZING. Its just another year. Lets make a start of something new. Have hope and lets bring out the best for this year. To those who loves me back, parents, siblings, best friends, my new friends who are oh-so-nice, my loyal readers. Thank you and I love you too :)


JaszyRay~

JUST ANOTHER "THE END"

Oh you know, I bet you see this coming too. OKAY I'll start. This is just another bye bye 2011 post. Typical. I bet you read a lot of post about 2011 and 2012. I hope mine is a bit different and because its the last day!! Aren't you excited?!
2012 is tomorrow. Another year to prove to yourself that anything is achievable if you just believe in yourself. I feel inspired.


I felt that every year is like having a new relationship. Not with guys but with YEARS and frankly 2011 is a really bad boyfriend. Haha, there's just so many ups and downs.. But I manage to pull it off with a touch of smile *SMILE* I did it gracefully. Also, just wow. Do time past so fast. Looking at my calender again, yeap. N in just 5 more hours till its a new chapter for everyone again.


As if it was just yesterday I felt that I left school for good. I miss school. Graduation was the best day. Everybody was happy smiling and excited. Full of pictures to build great memories. Don't you miss school? Its been a year for me!  I believe that when your in school, it is the only life where you are allowed to make mistakes. Because you learned fast from it and you just thought how stupid you were before and you think to yourself, I was just a little kid back then. I'm left to laugh at myself for being so stupid at times.
I am very quirky back in school and I did a lot of silly things. NO REGRETS. Just lots of FUN.


I guess this year is pretty much a whole 360 turn for me. I expected a great world ahead for myself. But everything seems to be false for me and I let my guard down. But come to think of it, of all the things I've been through. I wouldn't blame my mistakes this year and the tough times I've had. The problems I received and a lot of other typical drama. Though they were a lot of bumpy roller coaster rides for me. As some of you may know, I suffered 6 months of depression and it was NOT cool. Back then was nothing but a big bucket of crap in my face.  - To Summarize my explanation. I wasn't on track with myself and I'm always so depress. I sound like a completely boring and lifeless person but I grew up from it.


Because I learn to deal with tough things and accept what I was given. I was selfish at times in my situation but it made me stronger for myself inside and out AND I have a lot of advice's from people. LIKE major advice's. People from all ages and sharing each other problems and experience. Pretty cool huh? No, its weird actually. But the good thing is I am now back to being who I used to be,
 I thanked god for putting me on the right track again but just a bit more responsible and realistic now.
I am aware and careful but at the same time little mistake comes along the way yet I can always forget and move on from it.


Right now, at this present moment. I'm really prepared for 2012. Like, I'm so excited. I could not wait for the next day to come. I know that things will change. A lot of things will change.
 I'm still afraid of the future but I believe that every day is a new day.
 I build this whole new me and I can't wait for things to change more. Good things to be better. Dreams that comes true. To start off my amazing plan, I basically would just prepare NEW YEAR resolutions. Because I'm a tad bit of an organizer for myself and I really followed my resolutions. LIKE REALLY I DO!
(OKAY, 75% of it?)

One of them is of course, to not stop inspiring people. I thanked all of those who got inspired by me and I'm happy that many people smiled after that. I'm glad that my resolution came out good and I'd like to show good examples to kids more. I love kids and I believe inspiration starts from there. I want to be more happy and caring towards myself and others, so that we could build a good atmosphere and place for each other. I work in a good place where everyone is friendly (sometimes) and I'm just starting to fell in love with what I do. Though, I still have yet to complete my task as I would want to go to Fashion School someday.
 I could just forget about my I.E but that's my back up plan.
But mostly, to find something new for myself.

Other than that, maybe giving chances and getting chances. Because chances may lead us to something good. See like Namewee, for example. People gave him a chance to start over what he did (after insulting other races) but he apologize already and he is really sorry for what he did. AND he did a super great movie. Isn't that great? To get chances, we have to work for it. I hope to get great chances.

Well, that's about me. I still have more but I don't wanna write a lot of my resolutions here. Other than that, I'm pretty close to my parents again. Mom and dad though I'm still their average pain in the ass daughter at times. I can't help it, its just normal to be one sometimes. But I would never break their hearts. I love them and I wanna make them proud. I don't wanna be a daughter where I regret not spending time with them. YES I do a have life on my own, but sharing my life with them would mean the world to them. After what my mother have been through, I would do whatever it takes to fix everything again.
She's been hurt by so many people and all she need is happiness. 

She deserves happiness, and as for dad. THINGS are okay again.

A lot of people ask me would I fall in love next year. WELL YEA I don't want to be single for the rest of my life but I don't want to rush in this kind of things at the same time. Love is beautiful yet scary.
The guys that I like tend to not like me back. BUMMER much.
 Someday there will be someone I don't know when but as for now. Single it is. BUT to know what kind of guy do I want. Well I've read and watch a lot of love stories, I guess I want a guy who makes other girls jealous for loving me. If he really loves me that is. Which I find that completely impossible. Its like wishing for drinking the best water from the mountains everyday.

So I shall end my post here, to those who are reading and my loyal regular readers. Thank you so much. 

I would update this blog often. To make someones day complete. I don't like wishing people HAPPY NEW YEAR. Because we cant guarantee happiness everyday. So here is from me.

SURVIVE A NEW YEAR PEOPLE!

JaszyRay~

D&D

I was having breakfast with dad and he was reading the Morning Newspaper. As usual, he always checked the back page first. Can't help but to be attracted to the paper as well, there was this article about a father chained his two children in the bathroom leaving them with no food and straightly off to work. Further story, the reason why he chained them was because of their disobedient behavior and it made him angry.
Like, REALLY ANGRY.


The newspaper also said that he had troubles because of his wife who left him. Awww, at first I was really mad for what he did to his children. How can someone chain their kids? I understand "the cane method" but that's really a red flag for bad parenting but after further reading, I guess its pretty understandable. Though, its still not right to throw your anger on kids. Plus, they were just so young. 2 and 6 years old children. I don't blame him that much because when your emotionally disturbed.
You tend to do things that are not right.

I'm sure he didn't mean to do it, he felt bad about it. He just needs a chance to prove to his kids how sorry he is for doing that. I do believe he deserves a chance.
 A father relationship towards his kids.
I find that gold. Mainly because I guess I never had a good relationship with my dad.

I don't normally talked about him much in anywhere, we had a rough patch towards each other for almost 4 years. I never liked him, he never liked me. That's basically it. We ignored each other and we picked fights as well. I understand what I did back then that's why this year is different. I started to be close to him again. The past is the past and I forgive him for what he did.

Talking about him now, I'm happy about it. I am proud that I have dad. Though he isn't that perfect and a hot head but I am bless that Were getting back to being as close as we were before. I could not ask for anything else. I don't want us to be strangers or still  keeping that grudge feeling. I would never give up to still love him. Though sometimes, it is healthy to argue with him, like you know, teen stuff. He still does that DO's and DONT's stuff. Who's dad doesn't?

One of my New Year Resolutions, to have a healthy and happy relationship with my dad again.
His not getting any younger and nobody is perfect but if he can't change, I should change.

UPDATES ABOUT MY AWKWARD LIFE: Life is starting to be great again.
I just got home from the best vacation ever. Well, ONE of the best vacations ever and I just love hotels.
Especially breakfast. Damn you pastries. I'm fat now. Literally FAT. But who cares, I'm happy.


Happy Girls are the Prettiest Girls~


JaszyRay.

LETTERS TO HEAVEN

I know that things happen for a reason and just like the words of Macbeth, What's done is done.
Its funny how time passes so fast that you thought everything will be okay and that 2011 is about to end, But my journey to the end pretty much crushed when an unfortunate event happen. I am still upset and down about it. I couldn't believe what happen recently, I could not accept the fact, to know that

I lost a friend, A very good friend AND he was so amazing that he puts a smile on people's faces. 

Many of us who know him cared for him so much, he was special and he still is.

When I first knew him, he had this smile and you could just feel something good about it. I felt that his smile reflects his personality and it did. He had a great personality. A personality that is so unique and he is just a keeper.That smile of his brought me to be his friend. He was nice, he was kind AND I could not forget how funny he was. I have always appreciate having new friends. He was my new friend.
I loved all his jokes. How could someone so amazing, be gone so fast.


20th December 2011, a tragic day it was.
He couldn't learn from his mistakes.
He had no chance to say sorry. He couldn't fix things. Most of all, he couldn't even say goodbye.

My lovely friend who is now with god,

I'm sorry that I couldn't attend your funeral, to make it up to you I'll send you my prayers.
I hope your okay up there. Your an angel now. Take good care of yourself.
 As for me and all your other good friends out there, we will never forget about you.
I know that I would never forget about you. You truly are one in a million.


 R.I.P ShineShawne-Sy
1993-2011


JaszyRay

UNTITLED - NO IDEA

Looks like I got my Christmas present early! 10 more days to Christmas!

SO! I have this interesting yet challenging bet that my mom and I plan, and its still going on. I have to NOT drink Pepsi for A MONTH and if I can do that for a month my mom will quit smoking. Isn't that cool?! I find it hard to believe because my mom is really a heavy smoker but I'd like to prove her wrong that I can live without Pepsi for a month. Actually, its tough. I mean, I can drink up to 6 cans a day. 6 CANS! Okay okay I know its unhealthy and I'm about to destroy my kidneys but I guess I need this bet yea know? To cut down on my Pepsi addict. Hah, and I start drinking water, like often. Thanks to a friend *winks*. It's cool. My relationship with my mom is getting better each day.


Its good you know, and I'm happy.  I hope to know a lot of girls who keeps good relationships with their mom. I went to this society about Mother Daughter Relationship kind of thing and its really nice. I like the atmosphere. The talks are really inspiring too. I love all this things. It makes little differences and little differences will be huge differences in the end.


So what have I been doing for the past months. BUSY. With my job and assignments. But no matter at least I'm finding time now to update this blog. I have a lot to write now! I think...


Wow, could you believe it. 2011 is coming to an end. I have learned so much this year. Like, Driving without putting on the signal pisses people off.

I'll update more soon :)


JaszyRay

THE NEW GIRL

NOTE: This is a major blonde blog post. Don't say I didn't warned you.

I just have to blog about this because I really really REALLY fell in love with this show.
Starring Zooey Deschanel!

Okay. I'm not a fan of her and I still do think she looks like Katy Perry (No offense to Zooey fans)
BUT I'm starting to grow on her. I think its because of her new TV Series, NEW GIRL.
You can now watch it at Star World Asia.
Firstly, I just watched the first episode today and I felt it was really nice because her character reminds me so much of me!

 HOLD ON. I'm not being vain but its cool you know, I can finally relate to something and I love her fashion sense in this show! I like the cute skirt and her simple suede sweater.
I think Zooey is really cool in comedy and I would really give her a chance if there's any other new movies starring her, I would watch. I swear.


The show is about a girl who just broke up with her boyfriend and she is tired of her room mate though their still bff's, so she moved out AND then she met 3 guys in the internet, (I forgot their name) and she just needs a FRESH new start with a few help from those 3 guys, and first is to be their room mate and because she just had a bad break up. She was dancing naked for her boyfriend and then she saw him with another girl when Zooey is still NAKED. Ouch and Embarrassing much.


She did get to be a room mate to those 3 guys.
Come on, how many guys would say NO to Zooey to be their room mate right??

Why do I find it similar.

Her character name is Jess - People call me Jas, or maybe because it starts with J?

Her character loves Dirty Dancing - I love Dirty Dancing! (ITS A MOVIE)
Her character is quirky and weird - I'm quirky and weird.
Her character have 3 cool guy friends - I have 3 cool guy friends too!
Her character needs a fresh new start - I need a fresh new start!
Her character just had a break up - Well, I'm single..


SO basically, that's how I feel about it and over all I can really see Zooey's personality on TV now.
Hope she does more TV series and movies. I'm really looking forward for the next episode.

ANOTHER NOTE : This blog post is just another reason why I should update my blog more often.
CHEEESE!


Jasmin Rayhan

I AM A "LAZY"

What a beautiful Sunday and so I thought of blogging today and I realize I have 3 drafts. 3 DRAFTS!

A post about Kim K's wedding - FAIL TO POST.
A post about 11.11.11 - FAIL TO POST.
A post request from an anonymous person - FAIL TO POST.

That's 3 red flags right there and well, that's not good. I'm just so lazy to update nowadays. But don't worry. I'll be updating one now *writing* *writing*.


I HAVE BEEN MISSING IN ACTION AGAIN. Okay, I'm not gonna say I was busy because that's just another excuse. I guess why I haven't been blogging much (AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN) is because I don't have anymore interesting things to write about anymore. Sad to say that I'm no longer a writer. BUT that doesn't mean I'll be quitting on writing. I just need to get back on my "mojo". Okay truth is, I don't feel inspired to write. Why? Because I don't know. It just stops and I wish I could just continue. I know that I have a lot to talk about.

So what have I been doing in life, PHOTOGRAPHY! God have I improved so much. I've been taking it seriously for a year now and I would love to be a pro at it. Other than that, WELL for starters I'm not giving up on my hopes and believes. Because I've been in situations where I broke down and cry and I get back up again with a smile. Its tough but its worth it. I'm not giving up on anything for myself now. Its good to be selfish at times. Plus if you be selfish in a good way, you will see who your real friends are, because if they can't cope up with you then they just don't get the picture. I am completely focus. AND I love how every morning I wake up with a smile on my face, again. I thank god for giving me another chance to start my day. I start being appreciative now and I improvise with the things that I don't like to the things I like. Most of the times now, I'm happy. I learn to do whats right. That's right. I'm back on my track.


I thought 2011 was really bad for me and I wish it would just end so I could start a new year but its not over yet and there is still time to prove to myself that there is something good about this year. Though, there's nothing much for me and as I mentioned in my previous posts, I don't like October. Its the most saddest month. I guess I realize now, the things I do are the things I get in the end. I made mistakes but I have a chance, and I'm not going to waste this chance. I'm not going to sit down and complain how the world is such a big fat bitch to me. NOT anymore. Its either I don't do anything or do something about it. I chose to stand up and do something about it. I'm not going to tell myself "I'll start fresh again next year" instead I'm going to tell myself "I'm gonna start fresh NOW". - AND I'm doing it gracefully :)


Because people who delay just wants attentions that their not going to get. - Bob Marley.


On the positive side, I learned to spend more time with my parents. That's pretty good because I've never had that for the past 4 years. I'm always with my siblings and I love them so much. I guess if I don't try I wont know if there is still hope. (see that's why I believe in hope so much). I'm still just another ordinary teen, I still argue and give up on them but I don't mean it. I blab too much don't I?

I haven't witness a miracle yet, are you my miracle? I like.. Your eyes, Your laugh and the way you make me blush. But I don't even know your name, were you just there for me at glance. Nothing else?

Jasmin Rayhan

THAT'S HOW I ROLE

Point of this post, people judge me, A LOT. I don't get why and what is wrong with them but what's worst is that, the most people who judge me are the people who just know me, by my NAME and PICTURES and I don't even know them! I don't see why judging makes the world a better place and I find it pointless for people giving fake stories and other people believing on the fake stories. As for the people who know me, I'm sure you all know that I am very fond of my words and if you hate me, hate me then because I don't really see the point of this hating on each other thing.


I don't like the idea of ranking people. Comparing people who has more things than anyone or whatever definition it is to be "POPULAR" now. Sexier clothes, More Make Up, Rich and Bitchy with a Princess Attitude and seeing who is more better than who, that's just insecure and your just finding ways to make people be upset. I don't like how the society gives us a name. Group up "types" of people who are meant to be in one certain group and people don't mix because they are different. It makes everyone wonder to themselves saying that their not good enough and hating on each other.


I don't like how money ends up as the number one priority but when reality gives us a huge slap in the face. Money has to be everything. Like the quote, NO money NO talk. I don't put money as my main priority but I do believe money does bring happiness to people. But I feel, happiness should be first. But one thing I know, of all this crap and drama that people is giving to other people. One thing that we all should know is that to be happy.

Be happy for yourself. Because if your not happy and you don't love yourself for who you are, how do you expect people to love or respect you? How do you expect to find, a happy ending?
If you rather live in sadness, don't sucked people into your sorrow. Just because your life is nothing but dull and you see people who wants to change for a better of themselves. Talk about patience with one another.

I know if you want to love someone you got to know that you have to accept the term "commitment". Other than loving her/him for who he/she is and how their flaws are whatever they are and bla bla bla. Funny, people say that I am selfish that's why I don't deserve LOVE and I am always so self centered to myself that's why I don't have a Prince Charming in my life. I find those people who told me that is stupid, people who always follow their "heart" and got themselves hurt and their best friends are tears and tissue boxes.

They forgot to ask brain for logic. They don't give brain chance to save their insanity.

If you can't accept your on flaw how can you accept your companions flaw. Trust me, I accept my flaws and I always learn my mistakes. N believe it or not I'm growing up gracefully. I just think why must I be so upset of something where my mission to have a better life is being happy? Problem is if you don't accept your flaw, it is of course you can't accept your companion's flaw, which everything will end up as a problem. Your not okay with things, you start to compare your love life with other people's love life and you feel you don't understand what went wrong and every step you take is just a darn mistake.

You have no idea why it is a mistake and you feel that your world is tumbling down, well the reason why every step you take is a mistake because you expect too much and you overthink and you think you could get everything without trying to earn it. You think its easy, Well its not and having "THE TALK" is pointless. If your not patient then your just that selfish of not seeing the other choices in life. The choices where even though its coming along slow at least both is still happy to atleast wait for each other.




Because if LOVE is so beautiful like how it is explain in books or movies or whatever, things will come naturally and understanding one another will bound to happen nicely if you dont think too much except thinking to be happy for the term  "US". You think you want the talk but actually you don't even know what "THE TALK" should be like or how it would end up. Nobody is right but when you start a huge drama that is when one of them gives up.

Point is, I am who I am. I'm a girl with not much of a time and not having to touch the world in my finger tips yet and getting the glimpse of what freedom is in life. I grow up according to my age and I don't rush time because I know I will have as much time I want when I earn that prize. That is my mission now and I'm slowly getting there step by step. If a person can't wait for me to have that special moment for my own. He is not the one. He is not worth it.





Funny how songs would always say, touch the world, be against it and be happy.
When the right time comes, it comes and it is all worth the wait.


But if a guy is upset because he feels that there's something wrong with the relationship, until accusing that hey, maybe there's someone else in her/his life.
Well, if your that paranoid might as well leave.
Remember the past, give it a little glimpse, ask yourself.
MAYBE. IT'S. KARMA. Or maybe your just that hopeless.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!

Jasmin Rayhan

SO I SPEAK

Oh my cheezels its been a month since I updated my blog. WAS time really that fast on me?! The last time I updated was when I blogged about JEANS!
I love fashion. I love, Jeans. I hope you readers love that blog post.
 Shows how much I'm a passion for fashion.


Its been a month and there's not much post (ZERO post) for this month, October.
Why was I missing in action. ( M.I.A. )

FIRST and MAIN reason. I was busy, really I was and also I didn't have time to find something interesting to write about in my blog. But mostly I was busy, with life and being on an emotional ride. I have some problems and I was figuring things out here and there. It hasn't been a good month for me but I'm still capable with things. I'm still feeling down and maybe I should blog about something tonight.


AND then there was this Anonymous Formspring who suggested me to write about my life.


One thing about my life, I'm a very happy person, well I wish and maybe not at this time and pretty much I've been on tough and bumpy roads. I'm facing a lot of sadness that I feel unfair, I just feel like I've been trying to make people happy all my life where I just end up hurting myself and hide that away because I want to be happy too and it has always been unfair with life and all I wanted was to witness a miracle this year and so far there's no miracles in my life.

Before I move on, I just want you to know that I don't expect sympathy when you readers reading this, I just want this post to be honest, I guess I should write about my life a little a bit more in this blog since its all about my thoughts, I never wrote about my life before in here.


Firstly, yes I am a happy kid, I'd like to call myself a kid because 18 is a scary number and I hate turning 18. I turned 18 on 3.10.2011, that was by far the worst birthday ever and as much as I love this month, I hate it now. I hate how things are and I can't wait for October to end.


I have always been appreciative and thanking god for giving me another day to be happy again. Sometimes it doesn't work. I'm not being dramatic and I know that life has ups and downs but I just want to know why.


Maybe its because of the people around me, I guess I mix with the wrong people sometimes and sometimes I don't know if maybe I just want to fit in at the same time. But basically about my social life, I love my friends, I have more guy friends than girl friends but things somehow changed us and we have our own life to lead. Its no more 7a.m waking up in the morning gotta be fresh gotta go downstairs - (Okay enough with Rebecca black) I miss school. That was when life is just a beautiful playground and its alright to do a mistakes because we always agree with "LEARNING from OUR mistakes".

Well, its not too late to turn over a new leaf. 2011 hasn't end yet and I still can prove something for myself. All I want to do is chase for one thing. Which is happiness. Because that is what is important. I want to change, because I've been hurt so much this year and I want to change for the better of myself. Everybody say next year is going to be a horrible year, but I can assure that it wont be for me.


Alright. no more emo talks.


I auditioned for TWISTIES SUPERSTARZ 2011. It was a great experience though I wasn't shortlisted but that doesn't stop me from singing. The judges were, alright I guess. I didn't know they can put Jin Hitz FM a judge. Oh well, and I came across many people telling me I look like Selena Gomez. Weird but I guess I do look like her a little, but not through personality. They were a lot of talented people. Met a few people I know and their really nice and cool. Its good to see them. Most of the time I was alone. Maybe I needed to be alone today.

Till next time.

jASMIN rAYHAN